Our 14,000 mile trip has come full circle. It was just 6 days ago we stood in our driveway posing as we embarked on our journey and now we find ourselves standing in the same driveway plus one adorable Korean boy. The Steele family has added a son and his name is Tyson. It sounds like simple mathematics, 2 + 1 = family of 3, but if you have been following this story you know it was more like advanced calculus than rudimentary arithmetic. Applications, waiting lists, home study, doctor exams, finger prints, immunizations, paper work (I-600A, I-600, I-600, I-600...), traveling half way around the world, but the real test was yet to come, the actual "bringingtyhome". What a marathon! Let me tell you about it:
We picked Ty up at the social work agency in Seoul. The foster mother brought him along with some daily essentials, diapers, bottles, some familiar food and of course his pacifier. We would soon discover that last item was more valuable than gold, yea more than fine gold. I've heard many times that babies don't come with owner's manuals, but this one did; what he likes and when he likes it, were all well documented for us. If only it were so simple.
We did not meet the birth mother, but we heard she had contacted the agency wondering if her son was going to America. She also left him a diary which the agency will translate and send along at a later date. Clearly she loved her son but could not provide the home she wanted him to enjoy. We are so grateful for her courageous choice. We told the agency we would send picture updates so that when she inquired again, she could see for herself what a loving choice she made.
Carrie thought of a few last questions, we said our goodbyes to the social worker and foster mother and walked to the elevator. The foster mother handed Ty to Carrie and we stepped into the elevator as the door quickly closed. The foster mother has been taking care of children like Ty for the past 8 years, 1 or 2 per year, so this was nothing new to her. She seemed to be a mature, experienced nurturer, but her eyes were full of tears as the elevator doors closed. We are so grateful for her loving care for our son. What a comfort to know he was in such good hands. In the elevator, we began to well up but quickly turned our attention to our son who was suddenly nervous without his foster mother.
We decided to play it safe with our first parenting decision. We took a taxi back to the hotel, even though it was only a block away. The roads were clear but the walks were still slippery and it was very cold. Wouldn't you know there was a traffic jam. We probably could have walked faster!
Ty was uneasy in the car but when we got up to the hotel room, the uneasiness turned into outright despair. He cried for about 2 hours. This is what we expected but it didn't make it any easier. We fed him which helped, but trying to put him down for a nap was a lost cause. We distracted him with toys and play, and he began to turn the corner. We even got him to giggle! What a joy and relief. But the more we entertained, the more he demanded entertainment. Fatigue began to set in as we wondered if we would ever get him to sleep.
He finally did fall asleep after much coaxing and major interior redesign. We moved the queen mattress to the floor and Daddy slept on some pillows on the box spring while Mommy and Ty slept together on the mattress. Actually, let me restate that: Ty slept on about 3/4 of the queen mattress with his tossing and turning, while Mommy and Daddy both lay awake all night unable to stop thinking about the little addition to their family.
We finally rose from our sleepless night at 4:30am and began preparing to leave for the airport. We felt so disorganized and were struggling to find room in our luggage for all of Ty's supplies. Ty did great in the morning, on the way to the airport, through immigration and security, waiting for the flight which was delayed, even with the takeoff. He was quiet, even playful with the airline staff who all doted on him. We met another couple bringing back a baby girl on the same flight. We sat next to another mother and child and there were several on the flight, not necessarily adoptees. Tyson was doing as well as any of them. What a blessing.
But a few hours into the flight the challenges which lay ahead became more apparent. Like the hotel room, he strongly resisted napping. Diaper changing became a real challenge as well. We were short on changes of clothes and the diapers we had were too big. The flight crew had to ask us to step aside at one point while they fumigated the cabin. Basically, it wasn't pretty. Stinky, tired, and hungry would be good adjectives to use. And Ty wasn't much better.
I had trouble eating because even while Carrie held Ty, he would reach over and try to pull every item off my tray. The three of us shared 2 seats and airplane seats are not known for their roominess to begin with. I had trouble eating, but for Carrie it was almost impossible. The only way Carrie got any rest or food was when I would take Ty for a walk around the plane. It was a big plane, but a circuit only took 5 minutes. That's 5 minutes out of 810. Poor Carrie. She was such a trooper, such a warrior, such a...Mommy. I'm so proud of her.
We are home now and Carrie just put Ty down to sleep. Praise the Lord! She really needs her sleep, so we are calling it a night as well. We both feel like we may be coming down with a cold. But of all the places to not feel your best, there's no place like home sweet home.
It's hard to believe that we were in Korea, meeting Ty for the first time 3 weeks ago, today. It is so wonderful to feel and see that we are settling-in as a family of 3. We made a visit to the office to see Daddy and his co-workers today. Ty was shy at first, but started warming-up when he found some toys in Daddy's office that he got to bring home with him!
